We all have them. If you don’t, tell a scientist somewhere so they can study you, create some sort of antidote and then give it to the rest of us currently stewing in our irritable juices.

For me, it’s sounds. More specifically, the sound of someone sniffing (even a slight rattle, indicating something hard lodged in the nostril sets my teeth on edge). Also, chewing. And loud, high-drama tea slurping. Just wait until it is cooler! Also aggressively stabbing at lettuce leaves. Why so much force? They are delicate leaves!

The last two years has been a holiday from having to dig deep with people you cannot treat like family. Yes, the office is a great place for productivity and collaboration a few days a week. But the return to our desks means the exposure to all the annoying habits. Sorry, I should say exposure to people who are innocently living their lives while triggering other people all over the shop. Sigh. The break was so lovely. 

The issue with the office is that you cannot lean into your let peeves at work like you can at home. If my husband brings a bowl of extra-crunchy chips to the sofa as we’re starting a movie, a little side eye has him shuffling to the other side of the room (I know, I am the worst). Some people might call this enabling behaviour… I call it not going crazy. However with colleagues, you have to suck it up and be a grown up and accept people for who they are. Which is really, really hard when it comes to tea, salads and all of the above. 

My fix has always been white noise. I tell myself, and others, that it hones my focus, which is true. I am a busy body and if my ears aren’t being blasted with white noise I find my mind drifting as I listen to other people’s conversations and and even formulate responses. If I can hear a muffled voice behind a door? My desire to know everything they are saying is intense. So yes,. The white noise is great. But it is also a blissful place where sounds cannot get to me. 

A quick straw poll with friends has revealed other pet peeves they are dreading with their own return to office: one has a desk mate with a really loud laugh; another can’t stand the daily tuna lunch eaten two desks over; and then there is another whose daily commute is a frustrating exercise in ducking and weaving all the slow walkers. “Why are they not faster?” she asks with actual pain in her eyes. 

The question: Can we get over our pet peeves? It’s hard. Probably the most important thing to keep in mind about our pet peeves as we start office-ing again is understanding that if you’re tried or stressed or just feeling flat, those pet peeves can feel as if they’re pushing you over the edge. So try and keep your mood in mind as you process. Then there’s something I’ve been reading about called “acceptance therapy.” It seems to involve accepting people for who they are and mainly works with partners - the idea being that rather than force change, we can accept them and then they might address those irritating habits out of the kindness of their own heart. 

Of course, I know the glaringly obvious point is that I obviously do things that are pet peeves for others. I don’t even need to ask my husband what he considers my top three: not closing cupboard doors, passive aggressive comments about overly full rubbish bins and interrupting. So what are we to do? I honestly don’t know. Just pack your head phones and hope that there is a supply chain issue with tuna. And maybe I’ll let my husband finish his sentences more often before jumping in. Pass the chips.