Chi Mai may be mere months away from giving birth to her first child, but she’s already got her hands full with other baby. Her Melbourne-based jewellery business, S-kin Studio.

And while Chi’s career so far is proof that the best laid plans so often lead us down the garden path, she’s already got a plan in place for her return to work. She’s going to be heading back into work shortly after her baby is born, while her husband Alex takes a year off to act as the primary caregiver.

It shouldn’t be news-worthy, of course. But this kind of story is all too rare when it comes to the shared load of raising children.

Chi’s reasons are twofold. One is simply practical – while S-kin is in the remarkable position of having become a multi-million dollar entity in just three years of trade, the business is still in its infancy and can’t run without Chi at the helm. And secondly, Chi says, “I don't think it should ever be opted out of a conversation just because you're a female, just because you're a mum, you have to stay at home. It’s a partnership, and your baby is going to be cared by both of you regardless. So it should always be something that is carried by both partners.”

And while many working mothers have fallen in the trap of trying to do and be all things, Chi is passionate about myth-busting the ‘girlboss’ tropes that so often set new mothers up for failure. She doesn’t think you can do it all – and certainly not at once. “When you look at the news, you only ever see the success stories. And I feel deeply that at the beginning of my journey in business, that was detrimental to my mental health. Because I felt as if I wasn't good enough, I wasn't successful enough. And that's really unrealistic because everyone is on their own journey, and no matter what your journey is, it’s important. There’s a lot that doesn't get seen on the surface level. It’s not all a sunshine and roses.”

But with more voices like Chi’s speaking up, things might just turn to gold. That’s what happened to this former management consultant when she took a string of rejections and turned them into a necklace…

Go to S-kin Studio

S-kin Studio came about after a string of knock backs in your former career of management consulting. How did you know it was time to pivot?

I studied commerce, and I was really interested in management consulting as a career. It made sense towards the end of my degree to apply for the various graduate roles that everyone else was going for. But unfortunately I got knocked back for every single role that I applied for, and I just realised that after the multiple failures that I was striving for a job that everyone else wanted, but for me, it was stressful. It required long hours, and constant travel. I took some time to myself to reflect, and kind of slowed down in country Victoria where my husband is from. While being immersed in nature and family and the kind of flow of life in the country, I realised I felt incredibly happy. And I decided to follow my creative roots.

Tell me about the ‘why’ for S-kin Studio.

Back in Vietnam, before I came to Australia, I had a little online store, because I always loved fashion. S-kin came about because Alex, my husband, bought me a necklace from an online Instagram retailer. I loved it, but after wearing it for about a week, it tarnished. And it gave me a rash, which is a very common story that I hear from a lot of people who come to our brand, because I have very sensitive skin. I realised that the jewellery was plated, and it was causing my skin to become irritated. And because it was plated, it didn't last more than a couple of wears. So this particular situation made me realise that there must be a better way to make jewellery not only affordable, but being good quality, also suit sensitive skin. I did a bit of research, and the answer was gold fill, which is a material that's much stronger than gold plating. So that's where the idea of S-kin was born.

You've said that only about 10% of your business is actually sitting down and creating your designs, whereas the rest is day to day business. How do you find the balance between the creative and the business sides of your work, and do you find satisfaction in both?

I find that when speaking to other creatives, and my friends in business who are very creative, they do struggle with balancing the other side of things. It’s the hard thing about running a business. SI am lucky enough to have both sides of my brain really, really stimulated. I'm really a Jack of all trades. Even though it is not the main part of my job, I still find it incredibly fulfilling to dive into the numbers and understand how to run a business. But I definitely see where people would struggle, because sometimes it's a chore to me and I wish I could be sitting down and have time to myself to design new things. It definitely is a balance - some days you'll be required to use a lot of your left brain, and some days you just have to knuckle down and you have to do what is needed to have the business running.

You actually created your own denim brand in high school, and then you've gone on with S-kin Studio to become a multimillion dollar company in under three years. Have you always had an entrepreneurial spirit?

I don't think I ever started out thinking that I was an entrepreneur. I've always been more of a self-starter. I was obviously just experimenting with my own wardrobe, and found that I was making things that you couldn't find. And I guess the really analytical side of me was like, ‘oh, this is a great idea, to give it to other people who otherwise would've been in the same boat as me, struggling to find something that wasn't available in the market’. I don't think I thought of it as entrepreneurial back then, but now I do realise that was the catalyst to what I have done for my career.

What's your advice to anyone consider starting a business of their own?

When I first started, and the first stage is always the hardest, but I tried to do everything myself because my business was bootstrapped. I tried to learn everything about my business so that when it came time to outsource, I knew would be the best person to help grow that side of the business. Let’s say a Facebook ad - it's a very complex world, but I learned the very basics of it by YouTubeing and Googling. And once I was able to scale and outsource it, I knew what needed to be done in order to grow the Facebook ads.

You’re heading straight back into work shortly after your first baby is born next year, which is so exciting. And your husband's going to take a year to be the primary caregiver. So how did that conversation first start?

It actually came up soon after I found out that we were expecting a baby. I have always been  a very work-oriented person. I get a lot of joy from accomplishing my goals, and being at work. I do love a good balance, but my husband, who is a mechanic, he's a really supportive partner in that he values that my career is really important to me and that he was here to help and be a support person wherever I needed.

I don't think it's because he doesn't value his career, but because as a business owner there is a lot that requires me, and also I earn more than him, so it makes more sense for me to take the time back to work rather than him. That conversation went really nicely because he just volunteered for it. I honestly was shocked, because I didn't want to bring it up. And I was obviously really stressed about the fact that I have to be away from work and be away from my business, but it was really refreshing to have the man, I guess, ‘man up’ and be the primary carer. And I was grateful for that.

How has your decision to go back to work been received?

Friends and family have all been really, really supportive. I am grateful to have my husband's family here while I am going through the journey of being a mum. I think when I brought it up it's not that it's not accepted, but it's not expected.

Have you encountered much stigma around the idea of dad being a full time carer, and how does your husband feel about that?

Being in the mechanic trade, we do get that kind of stigma for sure. My husband is very, very open and he's a very progressive man. He doesn't really care about what other people say, but the conversation that he had to have with his boss was quite difficult because he had to delay it for a very long time. He's expected to come back to work after two weeks, so he had to ease into that conversation. But his employer has really taken it well and given him some flexibility, we've started with a conversation about six months from now, and then if he's ready, he can go back to work part-time, and see how we go. But it's very, very unexpected in the trades industry to kind of have that kind of time off.

Chi with some of her S-kin Studio designs

Did your parents raise you to be particularly independent, and who were your female role models that you looked to for inspiration?

I was raised very, very independent, the first child of my family. And to be honest, growing up, I had a lot of expectations from my parents, being a firstborn child. And that made me a very overachieving person. Now my personality is really based on what I experienced in my childhood, so in terms of the expectation of having to be career focused and having to have the job, being from an Asian family, it's very, very much there. I completely understand from a point of view of that pressure, but at the same time, that pressure is not put on me by them. It's put on by myself. It’s definitely a double edged sword; you're a really motivated person, so you can do a lot of things and, you put your mind to things which is great for business. But also it's sometimes not the best thing for being a parent, or having to juggle life and work.

How have you felt in your pregnancy so far?

I am lucky enough that my first trimester, I didn't feel a thing. I didn't have any sickness. It was as if I didn't have a baby, I didn't feel anything different. So when it came to actually finding out, I think it was very much a surprise because I didn't have any of the earlier signs. I’m really, really glad that this pregnancy has treated me so well because I've been able to do exactly what I've done previously, obviously except for a cheeky wine! But work-wise, I've really managed really well.

Do you hope to set an example for other women by taking this step of getting back into work quite soon afterwards, and having your husband be the primary caregiver?

I think it's definitely something that you should think about. I don't think it should ever be opted out of a conversation because just because you're a female, just because you're a mum, that you have to stay at home. It's a partnership, and your baby is going to be cared by both of you regardless. So it should always be something that is carried by both partners. And I really do think that for business owners, it's even more of an important conversation to have.

And have you talked about contingency plans, if you find things do need to change?

Yes, I've been really thinking about that a lot. My last few business decisions have been a bit of a contingency plan, in order to help transition into being a newborn mum better. So for example, our last round of hiring, I had advertised for a full-time and a part-time to come on board, but I decided to have two full-timers come on board, just so that that transition to me being away from the business is not so stressful for the rest of the team. And I honestly feel a lot better now knowing that there's going to be backup people, helping me and helping each other out when I'm not here.

Finally I want to ask you about this ‘girl boss’ narrative that we often see, where we really celebrate women and mothers in particular, who are able to juggle everything and be a super mum, and run a business. And it seems like you have it all. Do you think that's realistic?

Not at all. When you look at the news, you only ever see the success stories. And I feel deeply that at the beginning of my journey in business, that was detrimental to my mental health, because I felt as if I wasn't good enough, I wasn't successful enough. That's definitely like a really unrealistic way of thinking, because everyone is on their own journey, and no matter what your journey is, it’s important. Especially being a mother, and being expected of so many different facets of society; being the primary carer, or whether or not it's being a successful business owner, there's a lot that doesn't get seen on the surface level. And there’s the lack of time, and home is also domestic work. It’s not all a sunshine and roses.

I’m definitely going to have a couple of breakdowns here and there - and it's okay, because you've got to celebrate failure in order to have a well-balanced and fulfilling life.