According to research by Harvard Business Review, emotional intelligence is one of the most “sought-after” interpersonal skills in the workplace, with 71% of employers valuing it more than technical skills when they’re evaluating candidates.

While it may not be the first career-focused attribute you think to add to your CV, the amazing impact of your emotional intelligence on your career progression is something that can’t be denied.

So what is emotional intelligence, and how does using it benefit us in the workplace? “Emotional intelligence at work gives us the ability to perceive, interpret and respond to our emotions and the emotions of others in a way that results in more effective outcomes,” career coach Jo Glynn-Smith says. “It involves a set of skills and competencies that contribute to more successful professional relationships, powerful communication, and overall wellbeing.” 

While its value in the workplace is recognised, we may not feel comfortable demonstrating emotional intelligence or seeing it as a sign of strength. This is due to the fact it's often perceived as gendered behaviour – a skillset specific to caregiving women, and not strong leaders.

“Emotional intelligence (EI) has often been perceived as a gendered subject because historically, societal expectations have often dictated that women are more emotionally attuned and nurturing, whilst men have been encouraged to be more stoic,” TEDx speaker and consultant Ellie Turner Coughlin, who recently spoke at an AllBright event about this exact subject, explains. She adds that this has led to EI being “overlooked in the workplace, especially in industries traditionally dominated by men where qualities such as assertiveness have often been valued above empathy and self awareness”. 

It’s important that any assumption that emotional intelligence is a gendered requirement in the workplace should be challenged and eradicated. Because when we feel comfortable to demonstrate emotional intelligence, it can help us get what we want at work, particularly when it comes to networking.

“We're able to express our needs, negotiate and resolve conflicts more effectively. It also means we're better at building relationships with colleagues, clients and stakeholders, which is great for teamwork, collaboration and building our network” – all of which Ellie insists are key to success at work.

While emotional intelligence can make us better networkers, women in the workplace still have to contend with the fact they may network differently to their male equivalent – and may not be viewed as an equal when doing so.

“Women have often been perceived to be better at advocating for others rather than networking for themselves,” Ellie explains. This is partially due to the socially-enforced “caregiver” role that so many of us have internalised, and because so much of networking in the business world can take place in stereotypically “masculine” settings such as golf courses or in men’s clubs. Just because we may network differently, or in different places, doesn’t mean our abilities don’t have value. The AllBright members club, for example, is one of many new places popping up to cater for women’s networking, business-running needs and support.

We can actually be great networkers due to our capacity for emotional intelligence.“Women are actually fantastic at building networks,” Ellie says. “A huge part of emotional intelligence is social awareness, which is what allows [women] to build strong networks and lasting relationships. Networking is all about building deeper connections and having more meaningful interactions – whether that's for sharing knowledge, supporting one another or generating new ideas.”

Jo is quick to point out the incredible skillset that comes with making deep connections in the workplace when networking. “It’s incredible how we have the ability to connect on an emotional level with someone we’ve never met before, and there’s a lot of power in that,” she says. “With a developed EI, we can use these networking opportunities in a more constructive way, navigating around the chit chat and finding opportunity.”

One of Ellie’s key recommendations for incorporating emotional intelligence into your behaviour in the workplace is “leading with empathy”. It not only helps build stronger connections with our colleagues but it encourages a more open, inclusive working culture.

“When we take the time to lead with empathy and compassion, we can understand our team members more deeply and facilitate a stronger sense of connection and belonging,” she explains. “Leading with empathy can build trust as team members feel valued and understood. It fosters a culture of open communication, where employees feel safe to express ideas, concerns and different perspectives.”

In order to lead with empathy and incorporate emotional intelligence into how we work and lead, Ellie suggests “taking the time to better understand and manage our own emotions, as well as how we react to those of others”. 

“We can practise self awareness and use tools to help improve our mindset and how we react to situations,” she says. “By being more self aware, we're able to stay calm under pressure, communicate more clearly, build better relationships with others and ultimately be better leaders.”

Additionally when it comes to direct interactions with colleagues, she suggests 

“providing feedback in a way that's empathetic and supportive, rather than critical or dismissive, and take time to understand your team and how they like to be communicated with. 

“We can also spend time celebrating others' successes and acknowledging individual contributions, to foster a more positive and inclusive work environment.”

Jo adds that we can incorporate EI into our working lives by turning it inwards “by understanding ourselves better – our strengths and weaknesses, how we respond and how we show up, by paying attention to other people’s perspectives and limiting judgement."

It can be as simple, yet potentially groundbreaking, as ensuring we pay attention to people when they speak, leaving room for questions, opinions or feedback. Jo says we can demonstrate EI “by being supportive and present when people need you, and leaning into difficult situations. By celebrating success and paying it forward.”

While emotional intelligence might be viewed as a gendered concept, this shouldn’t detract from its importance in the workplace, or discourage all employees from using it and valuing it in their skillset. According to Ellie, it is a key element of both leadership and success.

“High emotional intelligence allows us to better inspire, influence and motivate our teams by recognising others’ emotions and the dynamics at play, all of which are important parts of leadership and career progression.”