“Pub?”

A friend would text me an hour before work would end, it wasn’t a question, it was a call to action. And so, without question, I would be there. In fact, everyone would be there, it was a regular weekly occurrence, like church on Sunday.

After work drinks (and sometimes during) was the norm, it was the unwritten social rule, it was the ritual, it was what everyone did. And if you weren’t doing it, then you were missing out on potential business opportunities for yourself and a way to get to know your team better, which was the “gateway to further success.”

No drinking = no networking?

I remember my first job in TV and being told by one of my colleagues:‘’The best place to network is the pub, make sure you don’t just go home after work’’. Noted. I took to that mentality like a duck to water. If you weren’t at the pub, then you’re not just going to miss out on office gossip and chat, but you’re going to have the worst FOMO as everybody would be talking ‘’about last night’’ the next morning.

You were part of a community,  and drinking was the social lubricant that helped your confidence when approaching a producer in the office about shadowing them on a shoot. A study from Hans-Georg Wolff and Klaus Moser at the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg looked at the effects of networking on career success. The aim was to explore results over time rather than to look at a static picture of networking's benefits. They uncovered networking behaviours, such as spending time with coworkers outside of work, keeping in touch with former professional contacts and attending work events directly related to career success.This study shows how critical networking was to your career advancement, making these trips to the pub more than just ‘optional’ to those wanting to advance their careers. 

I wouldn’t say I had a problem with alcohol, but I had a problem with feeling like I had to go to the pub to get things professionally moving, but it felt like you had no choice, the best business meetings are held in the pub, so they say.

Embedded into our culture

In Britain, our relationship with alcohol is institutionalised, encouraged and glorified. Most of us experience our first vodka at 14 in the local park. Yougov realtime discovered  that half (55%) of Brits had tried alcohol for the first time by the time they turned 15. There’s no denying for many of us, alcohol has played a significant role in every step of our lives, personally and professionally.

However, in a  UK survey of more than 2,000 working adults, 43% of respondents say there’s too much pressure to drink when socialising with work colleagues, and 53% would like there to be less pressure to do so. I recall many times telling myself I wasn’t going to drink and then feeling pressure to.

A new ‘Sober Curious’ era

But it appears things have taken a turn for the better. Enter the plethora of people entering their "sober curious" era. This phrase has taken the world by storm, coined by Ruby Warrington in 2018. The era is reflected in the fact that there is currently a decline in youth drinking in the UK.

This popular buzzword means you’re someone who is thinking about drinking less, or perhaps not drinking at all, whether your reasons are to do with your mental and physical health, lifestyle, wellbeing or financial and turning a curious eye to your own drinking habits. Warrington wanted a "middle-ground approach to drinking: the ability to interrogate her relationship to alcohol without ending it completely." Being Sober Curious is clearly about having a space for reflection.

The rise in conversations regarding our relationship with booze has also led to the rise of alcohol free communities such as Club Soda and Sober Girl society, who run “boozeless brunches” serving No-Secco and mocktails as well as seeing a new type of literature take the bookshelves world by storm: QuitLit. There is clearly a strong desire for sober communities, but this doesn’t mean booze filled events are no longer wanted (in fact, I enjoy a drink or two sometimes.) However, it appears that people still want to connect and converse, but without the pressure of feeling like they need to have dutch courage to say hello to someone for the first time and that building meaningful sober connections comes first, with no sense of what you said or did shame attached.

In her 2019 book, 'Quit Like A Woman’’ Holly Whitaker says women are drinking more than ever and the glorification of ‘’wine o’clock’ is doing more damage to us than we think. In a 2018 survey British women were found to drink an average of three drinks (defined as 10g of alcohol) a day and were ranked eighth in the world for levels of drinking.

However a third of people under 25 have not drunk alcohol for at least a year, a recent NHS study has shown. The BBC spoke to people who have turned their backs on drinking and heard how they are navigating the pressures of sobriety.

What do working women think?

Katie, 34 is a PR Manager in London, an ex self proclaimed ‘’party girl’’ who has been sober for two years since she gave up on New Year's Eve 2021. She told me how she would always buy drinks for everyone, after parties would be at hers and she would often state ‘’I’m never drinking again’’... her friends would laugh. She eventually gave up after waking up after a big night of whisky, red wine, and feeling total shame after drinking with her parents. 

She started reading QuitLit and began to ‘’stand in her power’’ saying ‘’No’’ to drinking. She says her skin improved and she found health benefits. She felt like alcohol was poisoning her body. It wasn’t giving her life, it was taking it away.

Maria, 25 a production manager in London identifies as ‘’sober curious’’ who no longer goes to work parties and is now selective with what she does. She said ‘’I respect my body and energy’ so much more now” and feels significantly better now she’s not constantly hungover. She also told me that having a conscious relationship with booze  means no more ‘’numbing with alcohol’’  and being sober and curious is a “battle suit” that keeps you strong and helps you figure out what you really want.

A new way to network

With access to more resources through the internet, we can be more conscious of how our drinking habits should be. There are tribes out there who are visibly on the same journeys. As someone who is officially ‘’sober curious’’, the days of feeling like I need a social lubricant to connect with people at events feels well and truly over for me.  In a world that is now waking up to this new way of living, understanding that not everybody wants a drink and rather like ‘dietary requirements’, Other Options Are Available... and that can only be a good thing.

So what does this mean for networking? It’s clear that networking is something that will always be part of our working lives and will contribute to our career progression, yet a new approach to reflect the ‘sober curious’ movement is long overdue. There is a call for more inclusive events and a general shift in drinking culture across industries. 

On that note: I’ll have a Ginger Fizz Kombucha and a packet of crisps please.