I read Angela Duckworth’s book Grit in 2019 and a key takeaway for me was that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent, but grit, a special blend of passion and persistence.

To have grit is a badge of honour, it’s that ‘can't stop wont stop’ mentality. Personally, grit has allowed me to drive the life I am living and currently enjoying. I couldn’t do what I do as a TV Presenter without having grit, it’s the only thing you have in my industry that nobody can strip away from you. But when is it time to grit and when is it sometimes better to quit? And is one option better than the other?

Defining grit

Grit is the reason I passed my driving test after the 13th test (I promise you, I’m a great driver). It’s the belief that if someone tells you ‘no’, as Kris Jenner famously states, “You’re talking to the wrong person.’’

Undoubtedly it is a skill, it’s the ability to maintain determination and self in the midst of adversity. Persevering through failure is not a walk in the park, especially when everybody tells you ‘no’, but grit is still finding the courage to pick yourself back up and keep it moving to extreme heights. Grit isn’t something you can buy, it is often said that it is something obtained by going through tough things in life. It's making a deal with yourself that you’re going to improve your situation no matter what it costs, it’s living with the permanent vision of your goals.

Grit is such an admired quality that businesses have started taking notice. For example, Google previously only used to recruit from Ivy League schools, until realising, through years of data gathering, that it was the quality of grit in people that actually made them more innovative, therefore creating better products and more money.

To be gritty is to be ballsy, right? It’s to be determined, it’s to be tenacious and fearless. Even if the term is unfamiliar to us, grit is something we can easily recognise in others. For instance, grit is everything the internet believes Brooklyn Beckham is not for changing careers many times over (I disagree because surely it takes some kind of grit to keep trying?). Grit is how Lady Gaga became a worldwide success, even after a Facebook group was made for her in college named ‘Stefani Germanotta, you will never be famous.’ Grit is how Jennifer Hudson lost out on American idol, but still became an EGOT winner.

Does that mean if you quit, you lack grit?

Quitting is an interesting concept because we must first address who gets to quit. It is a privilege in itself to be able to say ‘no.’ If you come from a privileged background you are more likely to be able to  say ‘no’ because that ‘no’ isn’t the difference between living in affordable housing and having food on the table. This is important to mention, because it's not always about people lacking grit, it’s more layered than that. Some people can mentally and financially afford to quit and others can’t. Also, quitting doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have grit as it often takes a ‘gritty’ person to recognise that something isn’t working.

I have started projects and, soon after doing so, realised it didn’t align with where I want to go, and I’ve made the decision to quit. Am I quitter? Yes, but I am also a gritter. I knew when to quit, because that is an important skill to hone too. Some might call it "Strategic quitting."

Sophie, creative and strategic coach, 50, from London told us “I was raised not to give up - quitting was not an option. Quitting was a sign of failure or weakness...so when I quit a job when I was a student (because of the owner's inappropriate behaviour) my mother was annoyed at me for giving up and went on to tell me about all the [inappropriate behaviour] she had had to put up with to put food on the table. But now, more recently, when I quit my last job it was so empowering from a personal perspective."

In my experience, quitting doesn’t mean abandoning a personal quest to make a life of impact, instead quitting can also open up other avenues to reinvent yourself. It can actually be a pleasurable experience, because you can do more with your time and dedicate it to the things you choose to pursue, which will take you to where you want to go.

Emma, 33, who is a TV director from London, tells me she is a gritter and a quitter. “I’ll quit before I’m out of the gate if I get red flags from people/ project[s]. But, I know I’m tenacious because if something is hard, it doesn’t mean I don’t do it.”

I like to ask myself: Will this enlarge or diminish me? Is it adding, or is it taking away from my goal?

Is it ok to have grit, but also quit? Can you be both? Can you do either or? What’s the right way to be?  So many questions, and the answer for me is that both are important to achieving what we want, as success isn’t linear. It's a zig zag, it's squiggly and that’s what makes the journey exciting. The powerful skill is the timing, the power to know when it is the right time to quit, and when to keep that grit! 

When I think about the right timing, I think about what Glennon Doyle said in her book Untamed: “Nobody has lived or will live this life I’m attempting to live, so I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map we are all pioneers’’ or as my younger sister would say: “you do, you boo.’’