When was the last time you got upset in public? It happens to all of us, yet it’s still frowned upon and embarrassing. But these highly relatable sobbing tales prove you are not alone. Group hug?

A bit of harsh criticism from our boss, an angry response from a nightmare client, or some sad family news on an already bad day and it’s impossible not to blub. It’s happened to the best of us. Eight in 10 of us have shed a tear at work, according to a , with bosses and co-workers, personal issues and workload being the most common triggers.

Yet crying at work is still generally considered a no-no – mainly because men don’t like to be seen doing it, and many consider it “unprofessional”. But we’re all human, so why not cry? We’re at work for a third (or more) of each day, so it’s inevitable that some of our tears will fall during this window. Happily, with more of us opening up about our mental health and employee wellness receiving more attention, the tide may yet turn on workplace crying. 

In the spirit of sharing, here are some of your stories of tears at work...

Tilly, 23, Clinical Support Worker In London

I was in the office prepping some paperwork a few months ago when a lady I’d only briefly met once before walked in. She looked at me and said I’d put on weight and that I needed to be careful. I laughed it off but automatically felt awful. I rushed to the toilets and just started crying. I was already struggling with body image and knew I’d gained some weight. It was also that time of the month so I was bloated anyway.

I felt stupid for crying but couldn’t stop the tears. It was even worse afterwards because I felt pathetic for crying and there was nothing I could do to solve the issue. I tidied myself up and waited a while, then went back to work as if nothing had happened. 

Ashlee, 21, Retail Worker And Student In Ohio, USA

A few weeks ago my friend made me a care package because my fiancé just left for the military and I’m not handling it well. I thought the gesture was really sweet and when I read her note it all came out at once.

My friend was the only person there. She hugged me and told me she loves me and is always there to talk if I need it. I felt a lot better afterwards – it made me realise that I have support and people who care about my feelings in this whole situation. 

Jess, 26, Designer In Queensland, Australia

I was on my lunch break at my old telesales job and my dog had passed away from cancer the previous day. I felt better after letting it all out – that emotionally numb feeling after a good cry. I honestly thought I’d done well to hold it in until lunchtime.

When I went back to work afterwards one of my desk mates alerted my boss to my blotchy face. They must have assumed I was crying about a harsh customer and I was fired. They assumed I hadn’t held myself to a professional standard and had let my emotions get the better of me.

My boss, the floor manager, was extremely unsympathetic. I’d called in sick the previous day because it was obvious my dog was on his last legs. She kicked up about it because dogs technically aren’t family members per Australian sick-leave laws. She was fired shortly afterwards for bullying new employees.

Sarah, 22, Barista In Arkansas, USA

Our state is slowly reopening after lockdown and a lot of people are being careless.I’m having to work and I cried last week due to a combination of my stressed boss being hypercritical, rude customers, and my own frustration and anxiety.  I’m concerned I’m going to pick up Covid-19 and spread it to my mum, who has lung problems.

I’d forgotten to text a customer back to say we received their order because we had a rush. I apologised and explained what had happened, but my boss got mad and said, “I don’t want your excuses. Just do your job,” which isn’t a big deal, but it was the last straw and I just burst into tears in front of everyone.

I felt awkward and ashamed, and I didn’t stop working while crying. My co-workers were sympathetic and helpful, but the customers largely ignored me and my boss seemed annoyed. He didn’t apologise.

Abadesi, 33, Tech Entrepreneur In London

I’ve cried at work many times. The last time was in 2016 when my line manager announced they were changing my bonus structure halfway through a quarter. I'd gone from smashing my target to being behind and I was so enraged, while trying to stay calm, that tears just spewed out.

It was an emotional release, but I was immediately filled with shame and regret, knowing how my tears would be interpreted in my male-dominated office. My line manager was so clearly embarrassed that I felt the need to justify my behaviour the next day by sending him a link to an article on the Harvard Business Review about why it's OK to cry at work.

Kristina, 22, Beautician In Pennsylvania, USA

About a year ago I cried at work because my then-best friend was not OK with my relationship with my girlfriend. He was extremely toxic and going through a break-up of his own and didn’t like seeing me happy with someone. He sent me many vicious text messages degrading my character and trying to sabotage my relationship.

I was distraught and embarrassed. I work with clients one-on-one and I was having difficulty being present and keeping it together, so I told my boss what had happened. She made me feel ashamed for showing emotion in the workplace and told me to pull it together and be professional. Others around me were sympathetic, but I still felt somewhat judged.

Jennifer, 32, Banker In Iowa, USA

About four years ago, I asked my boss to explain how to use a function on the processing software during training. He said, “No one else has any problems with this or is asking questions.” I cried because I was in training, trying to learn how to use the software to get the job, and this was the response.

Worse still, I was fired after he kept complaining about me asking questions. It was pretty grim, but not even the first time it had happened. I also got told by a law firm after crying that I didn’t “fit in” and was fired from there, too.

Cecilia, 39, HR Professional In London

A few years ago, my boyfriend broke up with me over New Year. It was my first day back in the office and a colleague mentioned some plans she was making with her partner. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I felt very ashamed and embarrassed so I escaped to the loo. A colleague followed me there and I ended up telling her what had happened. After a few minutes of sorting myself out I went back to work. Colleagues were sympathetic and told me he wasn’t worth crying over. They knew some of the context, but of course they couldn't help much.

Kelsie, 22, Deli worker In Queensland, Australia

I was scrolling through Twitter at work two years ago when I noticed a picture of actor Stephanie Beatriz and I clicked through to the article because I’m a huge fan. Brooklyn Nine-Nine, my favourite show, had been cancelled. I was shocked because I thought the show was doing super well and I just cried there and then. I had to go to the cold room to calm myself down. 

The whole day afterwards felt like a blur – I was telling everyone who I knew loved the show and they couldn’t believe it either. Colleagues and customers were weirded out that I cried over a TV show, which was probably deserved! I’ve cried over other TV show cancellations since then but not at work, most notably Gilmore Girls and Jane The Virgin.

Meredith, 27, Producer In Australia

Through my work I help to give people opportunities they may otherwise not have had. About three months ago, someone wrote a report outlining how our support had changed their life for the better. When I realised I was teary, I embraced it. It was so lovely and made me grateful for the work I do. I took a minute to be thankful, tweeted about it, then got back to work. My manager was also filled with joy when he read it and equally pleased, but no one noticed my tears.

Aine, 47, Strategic Marketer For Health IT Companies In Boston, USA

About a decade ago, I’d been discussing with my manager for months how I could be promoted and serve the company in new ways. We had an agreed plan. I was taking training, working directly with our CEO and stretching myself in ways that served the firm. Then our company acquired another, my manager decided to reduce the number of reports he had, and a former colleague became my manager. My promotion was on ice.

I was in disbelief because we had concrete plans, and I spontaneously cried. My manager was uncomfortable and couldn’t process what was happening. I felt awful about it, but I knew I wanted to “take notes” and learn from the experience. So I told myself: pay attention, learn from this painful experience. And I have. I’ve now been working for myself for six years. It’s not easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding and I love what I do.

The changes ended up being temporary because they made things awkward for my colleague and me, and didn’t make sense organisationally. Ultimately, I did get promoted. Mostly because it made sense and my CEO went to bat for me and I went back to reporting to my previous manager.

Kim, 54, librarian in New Zealand

I cried when I found out New Zealand was going into level four lockdown as it meant I wouldn’t be able to travel to see my first grandchild in Australia once he was born. It was totally for personal reasons because I know it was the best way to keep the people of New Zealand safe, but it still hurts. I just felt overwhelmed and the tears needed to be let out. It’s OK to grieve for things, especially during Covid-19, and crying helps me. It’s like releasing a pressure valve and I felt better afterwards. 

I felt fine crying at work – I was in my office so no one saw, but I did post about it on social media. I think it’s important to let people know it’s OK to be vulnerable and that you have feelings. These are tough times for many and crying is fine.